


Dear Dream

by summer_in_jun



Category: Kpop - Fandom, NCT (Band)
Genre: Dear dream, M/M, Mark’s graduation, We go up, Yo dream, cheezy, dont go mark, mention of suicide action, ot7 pls, sad feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 12:40:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15908469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summer_in_jun/pseuds/summer_in_jun
Summary: Mark can only visit them in his dreams. The only time he’s living is when he is asleep.Based off of Mark graduating really soon...be quiet don't cry





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Y’all I’m torn up listening to Dear Dream and getting emotional so here’s this shit for u :)

Light laughter filled the silent night, the 8 young men strolling down a street by their dorms, chatting and finishing drinks.

 

“Share,” Winwin stated, pouting, and Yuta passed his drink over to the Chinese boy, murmuring cutely. Doyoung watched this exchange with wide puppy eyes, turning to Taeyong next. “Share with me?” Taeyong shrugged and gave it to him, “I don’t think you’ll like it very much.”

 

“Anything you like, I’ll like-” Doyoung coughed and sputtered, thrusting the cup into Johnny’s hands. “What even is that?  _ Ugh _ ..”

 

“I _ told you _ that you wouldn’t like it.” Taeyong smiled gently. “Have a taste if you want, Johnny.” Johnny shook his head with a grin, unwilling to go through the same thing as Doyoung. They all chuckled.

 

“You know who’d like this is..” Jaehyun stopped abruptly, and everyone gave him a sharp look. He slowed, expression suddenly crestfallen. “It’s ok, it’s ok,” Taeyong reassured quickly, and Taeil put an arm around him, trying to soothe Jaehyun. “I just forgot for a moment… I didn’t mean to..”

 

“Haechan would,” Mark’s voice was barely a whisper, but all heads turned to him. 

 

“What was that, Mark?”

 

“Haechan would’ve liked it.” Mark repeated, head down as he walked past them and into the SM building. No one moved for a solid minute, but finally, Taeyong attempted to go after the youngest. “Let me,” Johnny murmured, “You guys get some sleep, ok?”

  
  


Johnny found Mark sitting on his bed, eyes unfocused towards the window. Mark’s body was stiff and still, but as Johnny neared the younger, he could see his hands trembling.

 

“Mark?” Johnny spoke in quiet English. “It’s John. I’m right here.”

 

Mark didn’t reply, just shifted to face him, curling up into a small ball. “Do you wanna talk again?” Johnny reached a hand out, trying somehow to reach that lost, happy kid inside of Mark.

 

Mark shook his head, trying to force a small smile. “I want to sleep.” He said hoarsely, and Johnny nodded immediately. He helped Mark under the covers, stroking the dark hair, and humming softly until Mark’s eyelids closed and his breathing evened. For a while, this was the only time Mark looked peaceful, almost happy.

 

Johnny wondered what Mark would dream on nights like these.

 

_ “Mark-hyung!” _

 

_ Jaemin and Chenle were rushing around, trying to stop any damage. “You can’t use scissors to cut fruit!”  _

 

_ Mark only giggled and continued his task, ignoring the squabbling in the background. Jisung reached over him to swipe a strawberry to munch on, and suddenly, Renjun was grabbing the youngest in a teasing neckhold. Jeno started whining to Renjun for attention; Jaemin and Chenle looked like they were preparing to stop a fiery war in the kitchen, grabbing spoons, lifting pans, taking away knives, and pushing Mark aside. Haechan watched all of this with an open mouth. _

 

_ “Help me, Hyuk,” Chenle fussed, but he was already beginning to laugh. “Look here,” Mark protested, “I swear I can cook well- just let me make this dish-“ _

 

_ Haechan shoved a berry into Mark’s mouth, silencing him. All of the Dreamies cheered jokingly, and Mark swallowed ruefully. “You’ll regret this when I become the official leader of Dream.” _

 

_ “Nah...then we’ll just have more reasons to tease you!” Jisung shrugged, a smirk on his small face.  _

 

_ “Come and do it then,” Mark challenged, “I’ll get Taeyong and then you’re screwed.” _

 

_ Haechan laughed mischievously, “I’d like to see you try. No one can get past the maknae’s cuteness.” _

 

_ Jaemin pinched Jisung’s cheeks, cooing and murmuring while the youngest squirmed and whined. “Come on, let’s all eat,” Renjun interrupted, running to the table with a bowl.  _

 

_ They spent an hour eating and laughing and shouting. “We should do this every night,” Chenle signed, content. “It all depends on what Mark wants to do,” Jeno told him, turning to the eldest with the sweetest eye smile. “What do you want to do now?” _

 

_ Mark hesitated, slowly murmuring, “I think I have to go now.” _

 

_ Their smiles faded, and Haechan whined, “Don’t go now, Mark. Stay a little longer.” _

 

_ “I want to,” he replied desperately, but something was already pulling him away. “But I don’t think I can.” _

 

_ “Ok,” Renjun smiled gently. “Sleep well. We’ll see you tomorrow..right?” _

 

_ Mark brightened. “Of course. Wouldn’t dream of anything else.” _

 

_ “Goodnight then, Mark.” _

 

_ “Goodnight.” _

 

“Mark. Mark, wake up.” Mark groaned and opened his eyes, covering them from the sudden, blinding light. “Sorry,” Taeil apologized. “Taeyong sent me, so..”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Good morning then, Mark.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Haechan, you little brat, get back here!” Mark screeched, stumbling after the boy, who darted back and forth teasingly backstage. Haechan was waving Mark’s phone in the air, saying all too loudly, “Is this a girl? Are you texting a girl? Who’s ‘My Baby’?”   
  
Mark screeched again, and the onlookers watched with amusement. Johnny joined the rest of the Dreamies and watched Haechan get tackled to the ground. “Hey!” Haechan whined in fake pain, but Mark was already up, slipping his phone into his pocket with indignation.   
  
“It’s Jisung, you brat.” Mark intended to end Haechan’s pestering thoughts there, but the younger burst into laughter, the rest of the Dreamies following. Both Mark and Jisung turned crimson, annoyed and embarrassed.  
  
“I’m not a baby,” Jisung pouted, using his height as he came to stand by Mark. “ _You’re_ practically the baby.”  
  
Mark wrapped his arms around Jisung  affectionately. Renjun, Jaemin, and Jeno already had their arms entangled around each other, and the trio decided to surround Mark and Jisung. Chenle squealed happily at the group hug as he and Haechan joined.  
  
“No tall people allowed,” Renjun half apologized, half stated to Johnny who was standing alone a few feet away. Johnny grinned and pulled the arm of the passing Taeil, grasping onto him instead. “Fine- I have Moon Taeil anyway.”  
  
Taeil looked uncomfortable and confused, causing more laughter from the NCT babies. He hesitantly untangled himself from Johnny, “Taeyong said to get a moving. We have to go back to the dorms now.”  
  
“Alright, kids. Let’s go,” Mark tried to squirm out of their hold. “Ride with us,” Chenle begged, “It’s more fun with all of us.”  
  
“It’s only 30 minutes. Plus, I recall a little Chinese birdie telling me that you said, and I quote, ‘We’ll _actually_ be funny because Mark isn’t here.’”  
  
“Winwin!” Chenle and Renjun whined, catching the boy who was passing by to the car. “I didn’t do anything!” was Winwin’s instinctive reply, scurrying off cutely to follow Kun.  
  
“Anyhow,” Mark smiled, “You know I have to coordinate with Taeyong about writing today. I promise I’ll ride with you all next time.”  
  
“Fine,” Haechan grumbled. “I’m in 127 too, can’t I join the hyungs?”   
  
“And miss all our fun?” Jisung grinned mischievously. “ We have so much we can do!”  
  
Haechan and Renjun slowly exchanged looks,simultaneously saying, “NO YAJA-TIME!”   
  
Jisung and Chenle only giggled and screeched, skipping off to the car. “Ok, see you tonight, Mark!” Jaemin waved to him, and the Dreamies separated from Mark, hopping into the car in front.  
  
Mark climbed into the bigger vehicle behind the kids, suddenly engulfed in peaceful silence with the 127 hyungs. Lucas, Winwin, Kun, and Jungwoo all chose to ride with the manager, but everyone else had separated by unit, as usual.  
  
Most of the members had headphones in, either reading, sleeping, or playing on their phone. Mark settled next to Taeyong, slipping his notebook onto his lap to write lyrics with the leader.  
  
The car slowly drove off, and Mark slipped into a dreamy trance, thinking of deep lyrics, happy moments, happy members. Music filled his ears, and he munched quietly on some chocolate.  
  
“There might be some delay,” their driver called back to them, “We seem to be stuck in traffic, and with this cloudy weather..”  
  
Taeyong fell asleep, hand resting around a pencil. Mark sighed and texted Haechan, wondering what they were doing. He didn’t receive a response, and Mark concluded that they were either asleep or too busy talking. Knowing Haechan, it was  probably the latter.  
  
The rain began to pour, and Mark watched the drops hit the window. A sudden swerve right surprised the members, making them topple over in their seats.   
  
“Dangerous idiot!” The driver huffed loudly, watching the car next to them speed by. “Sorry, kids. Just some impatient drivers..and it’s so slippery too.” He shook his head and continued to drive. Mark sat up straighter anxiously. He could see the car in front of him was trying to get past the Dreamies’ car. It swerved impatiently, sliding slightly on the wet pavement.   
  
“Look at them,” Mark grinned. He could just imagine Haechan complaining and whining to the rude driver. His phone rang suddenly, and Mark cheerfully picked it up. “Hey, Renjun! What’s up? Did you miss me already?”  
  
“We’re having so much fun!” Haechan’s voice could be heard faintly through the phone, the boy probably close to Renjun.   
  
“Just bored.” Renjun answered, “...and hungry. I was wondering if you wanted to cook us that new recipe for tonight? I know you’ve been _dying_ to make it..”   
  
A pause, and then, “What kind of dare did they give you?” Mark said suspiciously, and Renjun let out a sweet, light laugh. “Guys, he caught on. That means I fail, Mark.” He scolded, but then thought better of it. “I guess I’m winning, though, because we don’t have to eat anything you make.”  
  
Laughter crackled in the background, and Mark voiced his annoyance through a long sigh. “Did you see that driver behind us?” Renjun went on. “Jaemin and Jeno were making some faces at him, and he was already annoyed, so..”  
  
Mark grinned, “Yea. Looks like you trying to play Mario Kart.”  
  
“Now hold on a second,” Renjun protested. “It’s not that bad.” Someone must’ve said something to him, because Mark could hear Renjun hollering about annoying kids and their lies. He laughed, and he could tell that they were laughing too.  
  
It all disappeared in seconds.  
  
It was dark and stormy, but Mark can still see it vividly.The car in front of Mark sped up, taking advantage of a small space next to the kids’ car. Mark watched as it sped by, then suddenly, it was struggling for control, slipping and swerving.   
  
Mark watched as the tires turned, the car screeched over; through the phone, he could hear the panic rising in the kids’ voices. 

 

_ Hyung! _

 

And he watched as the car slammed against theirs, the sound of metal and screaming roaring in his ears. His screaming, their screaming, and his hyungs’ shouts of terror.   
  
It was when the Dreamies’ screaming stopped that Mark became  _ really  _ afraid, heart pounding, still screaming their names, with hands grabbing nothing but air. Their car skidded to an abrupt stop, and his head banged against the chair violently.   
  
Mark could hear someone calling his name, and he lifted a hand to his head. His fingers came away warm and wet, but Mark didn’t have time to question it.    
  
_ Renjun. Jeno. Haechan. Jaemin. Chenle. Jisung. Wait for me..  _

 

A silent darkness engulfed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a flashback lmao. I know it’s confusing sorri


	3. Chapter 3

“What can we do?” Lee Sooman was talking with Johnny, Taeyong, their manager, and a therapist. “He..he isn’t right. I know we’ve agreed to a much needed break from activities because of what’s happened, but it can’t go on for forever. And clearly, Mark isn’t ready for any sort of promotions.”

 

“Please, sir,” Taeyong said, “He just needs some more time… we all do.”

 

“I know it’s been hard,” the therapist said sympathetically, “I can only imagine what you’ve experienced… losing your youngest members and brothers was hard. And that’s ok. What you all might need is some counseling.”

 

“We don’t need counseling.” Johnny said politely but firmly. “Mark won’t open up to a stranger. We’re his best bet right now, and it just takes some time for all of us..”

 

“Time is in shortage right now.” their manager stated. “It’s been a couple months.. and we all need to learn to move on.”

 

“We can’t just  _ move on _ .” Taeyong’s eyes were full of fire. “The kids are all dead, and there’s nothing we can do about it. We can’t just  _ forget _ it now, like nothings happened! How can you ask that of us?”

 

“You are idols, and that includes bearing the responsibility for your fans, who no doubt, are just as heartbroken and worried as you.”

 

“We love our fans. But this is just too much. We aren’t ready to go out again.” Johnny told them, begging. “It’s really Mark that’s the worst out of all of us. We’ll try to help him- please, just let us continue for a little longer.”

 

The elders were silent for a moment that seemed much too long for the members. Finally, Sooman spoke. “Alright.”

  
  
  
  


“Everyone up and dressed in the next hour,” Taeyong announced, sliding some soup in front of Winwin. “What are we going to do?” Taeil asked softly, trying to stir up conversation.

 

“Secrets.” Johnny grinned. He turned to Jaehyun beside him, his tone turning gentle. “Eat, Woojae.” Jaehyun looked away, sighing as he fumbled around for the chopsticks. Yuta handed them to him, eyes sad.

 

Doyoung couldn’t keep back a small, pitiful expression, trying to hide his large bunny eyes that shone sadly. Winwin whined quietly, arms wrapping around the elder in useless but well intended comfort. 

 

Mark sat at the table, hand instinctively placing food in his mouth. His expression was unfocused, dreaming, and his movements were like that of a zombie. They’d all remembered the incident meant to be forgotten.

 

“Alright everyone.” Taeyong tried to be cheerful, “Get up. Let’s go do something fun.”

  
  
  
  


“We’re here!” Johnny exclaimed. “Games, swimming, anything. Free yourself, eat whatever you want. Only happy things all day, ok?” He linked arms with Taeil, swinging their hands.

 

The eldest slowly smiled willingly, and Winwin hesitantly took Yuta’s hand. He took off, and Taeil hurried to catch up to the duo.

 

“Come on, Do,” Johnny encouraged. “Want to go play with some animals or something?”

 

Doyoung nodded, his blank stare disappearing as it was replaced with a forced smile. “Ok.”

 

That left Taeyong, Jaehyun, and Mark. “Mark, want to ride something?” Taeyong tried, and he looked up to the leader. “Ok,” he murmured, and Jaehyun tagged along, trying his best to lighten the mood. 

 

“Sorry, Mark, you might not be able to ride,” Jaehyun teased, pointing at the standard riding height sign. Mark smiled lightly, but it vanished just as quickly as it appeared. The trio strapped themselves into the rollercoaster, which soon took off.

 

The wind blew through their hair, and Mark closed his eyes as he flew along the tracks, imagining and dreaming. It was loud, cold, and fast; Mark laughed, a sound he thought was now foreign. Taeyong heard it and laughed too, the three soon shouting and giggling.

 

The ride ended with them staggering off, adrenaline still coursing through their veins. Jaehyun sighed, still shaking. “Another. Another one!”

 

Taeyong felt extremely light then, and he couldn’t hide a smile as he said, “We’ll do anything you want.”

 

It felt good to see them happy.

 

But it seemed like, at the end of the day when they drove home, everyone’s happiness vanished. For the day, they’d forgotten everything- and it was amazing. But now the feeling was back, worse than before. 

 

For most of them, it was a huge ache. Dull and empty, like something was missing. And someone  _ was _ .

 

They all loved them. Taeyong felt extreme guilt as the leader, remorse and sadness for the kids. Doyoung’s heart ached for his clear favorite, Jeno, and the loss of his bright smile. 

 

How cruel could death be to take away children so young? 

 

The problem with Mark was that it wasn’t dull. It wasn’t starting to be ok, like Johnny, Taeil, and Taeyong who were beginning to accept it. It wasn’t a small ache, a longing for them. Because as much as the hyungs would care for them, as much as they had loved them, they would never understand what it was like to be in a group with them.

 

And to be so cruelly separated from them just like that. To never perform with them, never practice and cry with each other, and never share each other’s injuries on stage. Just the fact that they would never again be called NCT Dream with the members Mark Lee, Huang Renjun, Lee Jeno, Lee Donghyuk, Na Jaemin, Zhong Chenle, and Park Jisung. No more ot7. No more Vlives. No more seeing them every day like he always had.

 

It was the sharpest pain that he’d ever felt. It hurt so damn bad, and it took all Mark had to not burst into tears right there in the car, and that made it hurt all the more.

 

Mark separated himself from the members, desperately crawling into bed. He wanted to sleep, he wanted to dream again like he did every night. He wanted to see them again.

 

_ “Mark!” _

 

_ The Canadian broke into a smile immediately at the sight of his six friends. “Guys,” he embraced them. “I’ve missed you!” _

 

_ “It’s been one day,” Haechan laughed, teasing, “Visit us more than, dumbass.” _

 

_ “He can only sleep so much,” Renjun protested, “At that point, I’d be tired of being tired.” _

 

_ “Where we at today?” Jaemin smiled, and the scenery shifted as he spoke. “I wanted to go with you guys. I thought it’d be fun,” Mark exclaimed. _

 

_ “Didn’t you already go..” Jeno looked sad, but Mark refused for that to happen, and the boy’s smile instantly returned. _

 

_ “C’mon. I know you love rides.” Mark took their hands, dragging them along. “I don’t know..” Renjun and Jisung were saying, “it looks a little fast-“ _

 

_ “Yay!” Chenle squealed, already strapped in. Jaemin turned to help Renjun and Jisung, and Mark settled in beside Haechan. “Hey. You wanna talk a little?” The younger leaned closer, eyes serious. _

 

_ “I just want to fly with you,” Mark replied, turning his face upwards. “Let’s just be free together!” _

 

_ The ride blasted off, with everyone screeching and crying and laughing. “MOMMMM!” One of them yelled, and everyone started laughing. Jisung’s thin limbs were wrapped around the seatbelt tightly, eyes wide as he was thrown around.  _

 

_ “This is SO FUN!”  _

 

_ The seven boys lifted their hands into the air, allowing the ride and the wind to take them all away. “WE GOTTA DREAM, MAN!” Chenle screamed, laughing as the wind tossed his words away. Everyone was giddy as they all shouted similar things into the air, not caring if they couldn’t hear each other. _

 

_ Eventually, the ride came to a stop, and Mark helped everyone off, still grinning. “Fun, right? I’ve been wanting to do this with you all.” _

 

_ “Well, Hyung, if that’s so..you won’t mind buying us some cotton candy now too?” Jisung giggled, and Chenle‘s hands pounded on his back in laughter. “Fine, kids.” Mark sighed in mock unwillingness. “You’re too spoiled, aren’t you?” _

 

_ “You know it.” Jisung agreed cheerfully, reaching for the pink cloud of sugar. Jaemin reached over and plucked some strands away, feeding the sweetness to Jeno, who brightened. Renjun whined, and Jaemin fed him next. “Mark, you never do that for me,” Haechan brought up, and Mark shoved an oversized piece into his mouth. “There. Satisfied?” _

 

_ “I could’ve choked!” Haechan coughed, pouting as he chewed with a moody expression. Mark only laughed, swinging his arm around him. “Such a drama queen.” _

 

_ “I  _ am  _ a queen,” Haechan retorted, earning him a collective groan from the rest of the Dreamies. “You being a queen is as rare as Chenle’s fluent Korean,” Jisung snorted, and Chenle pouted, “What did I do to deserve this? Plus, I’m much better now! That’s the oldest joke ever!” He protested. While everyone bickered and chatted on some swings, Renjun sidled up beside Mark, eyes expectant and serious. _

 

_ “What’s up?” _

 

_ “Look...Mark,” He seemed hesitant. “I love you-” _

 

_ “I love you all too,” Mark interrupted, smiling instantly. “You know I miss you all, right? But I’m glad I get to see you now.” _

 

_ “That’s what I mean, Mark.” Renjun frowned. “I..I don’t think you should see us so often.” _

 

_ “What?” Mark sat up. “Why not? I’m happy with you all! Aren’t you having fun too?” His smile faded. “Are you not happy with me?” _

 

_ “I’m not happy because I know you’re not either. Mark, you can’t live life like you are now..” Renjun said desperately. “Don’t you get it? _

 

_ “We aren’t.. We can’t be there for you like you want us to anymore. You only have the other members to rely on now, and it hurts us to see you like.. _ that _..whenever you’re awake.” _

 

_ “No. Stop, stop it. I don’t want to dream this anymore,” Mark shook his head, protesting against these unwanted thoughts.  _

 

_ “Don’t do this, Mark.” Renjun begged. “You need to understand it, for your own good.” _

 

_ “No-don’t-” _

 

_ “Mark. There’s nothing you can do about it. _

 

_ “We are dead.” _

 

“ _ NO _ !” Mark screamed, bolting upwards, tears streaming down his face. “No,no, no..”

 

“Mark? Mark, what’s wrong?” Taeyong burst into his room, sleep and panic mixed on his face. He stumbled towards Mark, who curled up, wrapping the blanket around his shaking body. “Mark, mark, it’s ok,” Taeyong soothed, embracing him. “It’s ok, I promise it’s just a bad dream. It’s all a bad dream.”

 

Mark continued to silently cry against the leader’s chest, hands clenched. “It’s not ok, it’s not ok,” He murmured, and Taeyong repeated the words that he’d told himself over and over until he finally believed it.

 

“It’s ok, Mark. They’re ok. And you will be too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just to note, there’s action of suicide here but it’s nothing descriptive. Read at your own risk though, I love u!

Mark didn’t know what spurred him to do it. One minute he was waving solemnly to the members, and the next minute he was running up the stairs to the rooftop, climbing to the ledge. It was like something possessed him, he knew his limbs were moving closer to the edge, but he couldn’t stop himself even if he wanted to. He didn’t think he wanted to anyway.

 

_ “Isn’t the sky pretty, hyung?” Jaemin sighed contentedly, swinging his legs off the edge as he stared at the clear, cool sapphire-colored sky decorated with stars. Jeno bounded over to him, arms spread wide as he ran around. “One day, when all of this idol stuff is over, we’ll all meet here and fly away together,” Renjun nodded, already satisfied with his seemingly unflawed idea.  _

 

_ “We can’t fly, dumbass,” Jisung stated, but Jeno defended his friend, “I’ll fly with you, Injunnie. We’ll be free together.” _

 

_ “All of us?” Mark smiled softly, closing his eyes. The thought made him suddenly giddy, and he swayed, humming an unknown tune. “I’m so ready for that day,” Chenle laughed, “And it feels like we’ve only just debuted.” _

 

_ “You guys better not leave without me then,” Haechan said firmly. “I won’t if you won’t,” Mark agreed, ‘Don’t make me drag you along though.” _

 

_ “Keep up, old man,” Haechan retorted with a grin, “We’ll already be gone by the time you get here.” _

 

“You left me, Hyuk..” Mark whispered, “You all left me, and you promised...you  _ promised _ ..” His voice broke, and his legs almost gave out. “It hurts so much,” He cried, “Please just  _ come back _ !”

 

Mark took a shaky breath, trying to calm down. He’d never felt so sorry to the other members, sorry for being so weak, sorry for being so selfish and scared, sorry for doing this to them; yet he’d never felt so desperate and broken, just burning to see the kids again.

 

“We’ll be free together, right?” Mark murmured, slowly putting his hands together over his heart. “Wait for me.. I’ll come home.” He fell forward, closing his eyes once again as he felt the wind blow against him, fighting the gravity until there was nothing. Nothing at all.

  
  
  
  


_ “Mark!” The eldest was engulfed by the six boys, limbs entangled everywhere. Everyone was talking over each other, and Mark pulled away. It was so bright and beautiful, and they were all here again. _

 

_ “I’m here?” Mark breathed happily, “I’m here with you guys?” _

 

_ “You’re here,” Haechan said through tears, “Mark, you’re.. You’re here.” _

 

_ “I can’t believe it. I missed you all so much!” Mark cried, hugging them all again. “It feels like it’s been so long… and it’s not a dream this time!” _

 

_ “Yeah..Mark-“ _

 

_ “And I already have a million things I want to do with you.” He grinned. “How does it work anyway? We’ll spend a long time together, right?” _

 

_ “Yes..” Jaemin looked down, and Mark frowned. “Guys, what’s wrong? Why aren’t we all happy? We get to stay together forever! Just like we wanted to..” _

 

_ “Mark, we love you. But we didn’t want it to go like this.” Jeno told him sadly, and Mark pulled at his arm. “I know, I know, but it’s too late now. I’m here now, and it’ll all be ok!” _

 

_ “It will be ok.. It will if you can make it,” Renjun murmured, “You can make it I’m sure..” _

 

_ “You’re scaring me..” Mark whined, “What’s going on? What-” Something felt strange to him. His body didn’t feel right, his head hurt, and he felt like he might faint. “What’s happening?” _

 

_ “Mark, please,” Jisung begged, eyes spilling with tears he couldn’t control. “Go back to the others. Go back to the rest of our family.” _

 

_ “No..no.” Realization dawned on him, dread and horror seeping in. “I’m still alive, aren’t I?  I’m alive, and I’m… “ his voice dropped to a whisper, “..I’m  _ dreaming _?” _

 

_ He felt like he was drifting away from them, getting farther and farther away from the six. _

 

_ “Mark-” _

 

_ “NO! No- I can’t leave again.” Mark sobbed, “Don’t fucking make me leave again!” _

 

_ “You have to go,” Chenle told him, voice quivering, “They’re waiting for you.” _

 

_ “ _ I’m _ waiting for you,” Mark cried out, ‘I’ve been waiting to see you every day when I wake up. Do you know how I feel when I finally do wake up, hoping and dreaming only to see 10 tired faces- but none of you are there? I have suffered through all of these months in hopes of seeing you in more than just my dreams!” _

 

_ “But you can’t!” Jaemin exclaimed, face falling as his tone softened. “Mark, you know you can’t.” _

 

_ “Why?” Mark crumpled to the ground, wailing. “Why?”  _

 

_ “Why do I get to live while you all die?” He screamed. “What did any of us do to deserve this? I’m  _ tired  _ of acting strong, I’m  _ tired  _ of being lonely and guilty, I’m just so tired of it all! Please,  _ please _ , just let me rest with you..” _

 

_ “It’s not time for you to fall asleep.” Haechan told him, pleading as he knelt down beside him, “Mark, survive. Survive for all of us- no, survive for yourself. You have to make it.” _

 

_ “I  _ **_can’t_ ** _ ,” Mark whispered, “I can’t go without you all. I don’t want to..” _

 

_ “You have before, and you can again.” Renjun tilted his head so that Mark looked into his eyes. “We all believe in you, and we’re all right here. We’ll  _ **always** _ be here, waiting for the right day when you do come back. And then we’ll celebrate like we always did.” _

 

_ Something was happening to them. It was getting brighter and brighter, and as they began to fade, Mark realized he was wrong. He wasn’t leaving them- they were leaving him. _

 

_ “No,” Mark choked out, “Please don’t go! Please… what can I do?” _

 

_ Jeno smiled sadly, “Get up and live.” _

 

_ “We’ll be here when you need us. We’ll be there in your dreams,” Haechan held a teary smile, sparkling drops running down his cheeks. “So wake up, Mark. Please wake up.” _

  
  
  


Mark’s eyelids fluttered open, tears streaking down his face. A gentle beep beside him continued steadily, and Mark surveyed the white room. His body seemed to ache, but he must’ve been given pain medicine, and he could barely move. Something else was different though; perhaps it was the drugs, perhaps it was something else.

 

Because where only brokeness and unbearable pain had been, there was something else that had replaced it. It still hurt, it still felt broken, but it was more dull than before. It was almost.. ok, almost empty, but as Mark looked over at his sleeping members- some on the floor, some in chairs, and some right by his bed- he knew that they would be able to fill up that missing hole inside of him. Like they so often had. Like they’d already learned to do.

 

He almost smiled to himself. He’d survived. And now he would live.

 

Somewhere, far away in a future daydream or a night’s daze, Mark could hear six voices in absolute disunity, laughing and bickering- having the usual fun. There was an empty space, a missing puzzle piece, a lost treasure waiting to be found and filled. He could see the six boys turning, hand in hand with the biggest smiles as they looked on with shining eyes. 

 

_ We’re here, Mark. And we’ll be waiting for you to come again. To welcome you with open arms and swarm you with hugs and laughter, like nothing’s ever changed. _

 

_ We’ll be your home. _

 


	5. So...

That was honestly cheesy as fuck lmao but I’m soooo in the emotional and sad mood lately so? 

Anyway, I had the potential to expand it into a bigger story, and I wish I had, I probably could have done a lot more with it? But U know, time and everything :/ y’all gonna y’all at me for not continuing my other stories too lol.

Anyhow, I hope it wasn’t too confusing. I really am so torn up that Mark is leaving because Dreams interactions and bonds seem the strongest for me.. I love 127 too but like there’s just something about those 7 all together, and the fact that Mark won’t be performing with them ever again under the name NCT dream breaks my heart :(

so yea that was just a little something I wanted to spew out. I apologize it’s rushed and not the best, but maybe one day I’ll work on it or change it or make it longer idk.

also I wanted to get another chapter of lost boys out for my lovely boyz but idk if I will do I just wanna say Stream Right here!!

the boyz deserve a lot of love and support and it’s a bop.

But ALSO YEA I BASED THIS OFF OF DEAR DREAM LIKE SHIT WHO WROTE THAT MASTERPIECE LOOK AT THE LYRICS

 

heres some of my favorite for u:

  
I still can’t believe it  
I see the window of the car we used to ride together  
Everything around is  
Looking like a blur just like the outside, movements are fast  
I guess at one point we followed the speed of the car  
But honestly I think I’ve stopped in the past  
That time will always be that time, hope it never fades out 

 

To an unrecognizable look as we go down our own road  
Our gazes may reach each other one day  
Even if it’s in silence, our voices will reach each other  
We will worry about each other like always  
Don’t forget we are in touch  
Always in the same time, the same place, we were always together  
We don’t have the courage  
The words we couldn’t speak, the words we couldn’t deliver

Just don’t forget this  
One night, far from now  
There will be a star that will lift your spirits  
That star will be me

You exist  
The scale of the size nobody will understand  
Other than us  
In my heart

I’ll take you back home  
I’ll take you back  
We will go around and around  
I know this will be a memory not a reminiscence  
The apologetic, regretful thoughts linger, the longing  
That we didn’t realize because we were so used to it lingers  
I know the time will tell  
You know, we will always walk, following the star  
We were someone’s dream, we don’t forget

each other  
You must know that  
I am always by your side

I believe that sometimes, when a reality is a dream  
I worry about the seagull that always laughed for us  
Even if we’re on the same boat, we are on a different ocean  
But I will continue to always be the lighthouse  
You can rely on  
Yeah this is fate and that’s a fact  
When it’s too hard, I will be your green light  
Tell me after you deeply treasure the delighted feeling  
Feel like what  
We gon stay

Do you remember what I said  
Every night long time ago  
The compass I saw in my dreams  
I know now that it’s you

Now that time passed, you were so young  
But you were so big  
That side of you  
Gives me strength

I’ll be your home  
Ooh oooh I’ll be your home

This is only one part of something passing  
You can write this down, I believe you will pass on, this bookmark  
It’s more natural if you leave it to the flow  
But I don’t want this to sound like  
We’re about to depart  
If I ever get lost  
I wasn’t going to make it obvious  
Imma call back  
Don’t forget the tone I called you  
Chant it like we always did  
Hope we always feel like  
  
---  
  
 

Aka legit all of it except I cut like 4 lines and that’s it. Damn beauty

Also I’m listening to all of Dream’s old songs and getting nostalgic and sad but -anyhow let’s not be sad until the date and then we’ll ball our eyes out :(

Someone teach me to stop babbling when I write OK

I love u all, sleep well, eat healthy, don’t be too stressed, also sorry for bad grammar I’m busy and tired haha. Love uuuuu


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